Monday, September 22, 2014

in all seasons

Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you...
1 Thessalonians 5:18
 
It's the middle of the day and I'm sitting on my back patio sipping some coffee.  The dog is settled in near my feet, soaking in the sun, there's a gentle breeze is blowing in the trees.  It's the first day of fall and the weather is perfection and all the while, I'm silently pondering,

What is this life?!

Seriously. 

Wasn't it just yesterday that I was a single mama and a college student with barely a moment to breathe between work and school and home? 

There was a long, dark unending season of winter in my life and some days, it really does feel like yesterday. 
 
Somedays, it feels like another life altogether.   
 
And somedays, days like today, it just feels like I have developed some mild form of post-traumatic stress, where there's too much anxiousness to lay down in the sun like this dog and carelessly soak up the sun and feel the breeze on my face... for fear the sky may actually fall at any given moment now.

Hello, Chicken Little. 
 
Somedays I literally do not know how to live this life in this season.
 
Because, if I'm honest, all this peace and stability feels awfully scary to me. 
 
I learned so much during those years, those hard , dark seasons.  Those moments in my life when I was so utterly dependent on grace and mercy to get me through each day, at times, each moment.  Those nights spent praying and waiting for the sun to rise just so the darkness would end. 

I'm learning still - that I'm still just as desperate for His word and for His presence.  And I find myself asking the same questions, praying the same prayers, "Lord, what do I do?" 

And all these years, His answer hasn't changed - because His word has never changed. 

And through His word, He speaks.  Still.  Faithful as ever.  And He says things like:

Walk in the truth of my word.

I will lead you beside still waters. 

Be still and know that I am God. 

Give thanks in all things, and in all seasons.

I read His word and it is a soothing balm for my restless heart.  I can feel it quiet within me.  I can feel the warm sun, the breeze on my face.  I can feel. 
His presence. 

And I know, I live through this season the same way I did the darkest ones.  One day at a time, one moment at a time, knowing never once did I ever walk alone; never once did He leave me on my own. 

Learning how to praise Him on the mountaintop the same way I did in the valleys, fearlessly.

In all seasons.

Knowing that more scars and struggles are inevitable in this life, but learning, always learning and relearning, He is faithful.

God, you are faithful. 


Standing on this mountaintop
Looking just how far weve come
Knowing that for every step
You were with us
 
Kneeling on this battle ground
Seeing just how much Youve done
Knowing every victory
Was Your power in us
 
Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Yes, our hearts can say
 
Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful,
God, You are faithful

 

1 comment:

  1. Such wonderful reflections! I really enjoyed reading this!

    ReplyDelete