Friday, October 5, 2012

the middle of a move - and a mission


the middle of a move - and a mission.

We are all, invariably, in the middle of something. I am in the "in between" in so many places in my life and my heart - I could write in a thousand different directions, literally and figuratively. But for today, I'll simply start with where I am at this very moment and that is in the middle of boxes. Yes, lots and lots of boxes - and wreckage, literally and figuratively.
 
As someone with a less than idyllic childhood, I grew up dreaming about sidewalks and street lights and white picket fences. Pretty two story homes with shutters and neatly manicured lawns. For years, I based my self-worth on that which I surrounded myself with. I hid behind a thinly veiled facade of middle-class, suburban niceties. I blurred the lines between adoration and idolatry and as a result, I constructed an entire life and marriage on sinking sand. Proverbs tells us that a wise woman builds her home but a foolish woman tears it apart with her own hands. I know what it is like to be the latter. I have lived it - and by His grace alone, lived through it. And so, it has been a journey of faith as the Lord has shattered the facade and chiseled away materialism from my heart. It is an ongoing, refining journey, but the Lord, through His grace, has shifted my life into reverse - refining and redefining the dreams I once held so dear to my heart....

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