Tuesday, April 24, 2012

full circle.


"You will make known to me the path of life;
In Your presence is fullness of joy."
Psalm 16:11

when the Lord began changing my heart and my life in the early summer of 2009, He forever altered the course of my life... and of my blog. he sat my feet on a new path; the one towards eternity with Him. one that i viewed as my own personal narrow path home. my story that He was - and is - still writing

three years later, i never expected to be so close to where i began. literally. physically. spiritually. figuratively.  geographically...

i could spend a thousand words lamenting over the path i have traveled. i have, admittedly, chosen to walk by sight. i have been living by seeing and not believing. i have allowed my faith to become limited by what is tangible: my thoughts. my feelings. the advice and opinion of others. my desire to please others. in 2009, i had lost everything that meant anything over something that meant nothing. coming back to the place where it all began, i realize that this time, i'd just simply lost sight of what - and who - my everything truly was - and is: Christ.

what i wrote back then remains truth today: "the Lord was in a relentless pursuit of my heart and it wouldn't have mattered where i was. no more than Jonah could hide from the Lord in bowel of a ship, could i hide from His unwavering love; His constant calling."

it is the one ironic theme of my life: His faithfulness in the midst of my unfaithfulness. unfathomable, unfailing faithfulness. truly, His grace is scandalous. there are so many days, like today, in the midst of this ordinary life i cannot wrap my mind - or heart - around His extraordinary, extravagant love.

and so, rather than regret having traveled in circles, i rejoice that the Lord has brought me full circle. again. to the place where it all began. to the place where i learned contentment in Him and in Him alone. to the place where i was so utterly dependent on Him for everything. to the place where he was - and is - the love of my life.

He is love to the loveless and unloved; hope for the hopeless and desperate; faith for the faithless; father to the fatherless; husband to the husbandless. He is all of those things to me. and i'm so grateful to be back at this place where He was - and is - my everything.

In his presence - and ONLY in His presence - is there fullness of joy.  I don't know where my story goes from here, only that He is writing it, even on the days when I am not writing about it. 

"And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus." ~ Philippians 4:19

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