Thursday, February 18, 2010

seasons change.

"There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance...
... and a time for peace".
Ecclesiastes 3

it has been a long, long winter. literally. figuratively.

i drove to school this morning under a cloudless sky. moon roof open. volume up. rays of sunshine brightly beaming all around me. it was the most beautiful morning i've seen in a long, long while. it was the first time i've felt the warmth of the sun on my face. it was a vivid, tangible reflection of the change stirring within me. a reminder that the long, cold winter is nearing the end. literally. figuratively.

i've had so much to write about lately. so many amazing conversations with the most amazing friends in my life about the awesome provision - and love - and grace - and mercy - that we have each experienced over the course of our lives and throughout the last year. i can't organize the words or thoughts to adequately describe the awe that i feel when reflecting upon the orchestration of His perfect plan or how grateful i am that His promise of redemption - of using everything in my past - for my good and His glory has come, and will continue to grow, towards fruition.

countless years of knowing how to say the right things and knowing how do the right things have been eradicated and replaced simply with knowing Him.

i took the first step onto this path late last spring. all of the previous seasons of my life prior to that moment now run together, blurry shades of gray between shadows and darkness. out of my bedroom window, spring was yielding way summer yet, within me God was calling me to a path winding through the midst of a winter season. one that was isolated and cold and at times, lonely. it was along that path, i first began to learn how to find refuge in Him alone, to depend on Him for my every step, to seek Him for my every need. i had lived a lifetime seeking fulfillment through people, places, things... and with each step, He showed me how fruitless my seeking had been apart from Him. in my humanness, i had lived a life in anticipation for what was next, my whole life's happiness always dependent up on something that was yet to come. yet, in that winter, i found my hope - my everything not it what was to come but in the One who was, who is, who is to come. i stopped longing for the seasons to change.

it began to happen before i recognized what it was. a shift in the wind. a shift in my heart. the scent of a new season. i could feel it and sense it long before i could see it. a new season was coming. pausing to look back, i see it all in a new light, brighter than sunshine. shattered pieces of my life a mosaic of His grace, reflecting the light from the sun that's bringing with it the warmth of spring. i take my shoes off and step onto the slivers of green grass. freedom. not from Him, but IN Him.

i haven't arrived anywhere in particular. i am not at some profound destination on the journey or on this narrow path home...

seasons change. but the my path remains the same. HE is my path.
"Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." Hebrews 13:5

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