Monday, December 28, 2009

free indeed.

the narrow path home to freedom

"He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners
and recovery of sight for the blind,
to release the oppressed... " Jesus
Luke 4:18

beginning the new year in total and complete freedom in Christ is the most exhilarating experience of my life. although my journey with Him has been unfolding throughout most of this past year, as the year comes to a close, i have become increasingly aware of this freedom that i have in Him. truly, He came to set the captives free. i know because i was one. the realization that i am finally free after years of turmoil and struggle is overwhelming. i am free - not just from persistent sin in my life and the penalty that i deserved for such, but i have been rescued, saved from myself.

i have not walked this path in perfection. at times, i haven't walked at all. i have crawled. other times, many times, He has carried me. i have fallen flat on my face. but the difference, oh, the difference that becomes more clear with each day, with each step, is that the condition of the path beneath my feet is not that which is the most different; but the condition of my heart.

i have learned that, above all else, in Him alone is where my daily dependence lies. if i take one step thinking i can walk this path alone- that i can somehow "do" this thing called the "christian life" apart from being completely dependent and obedient to Him - that becomes the point in which i stumble. and fall.

and lets face it: this "falling down" thing is not unfamiliar to me. after all, i'd spent years falling and then wallowing in the miry pit. a heart that was full of shame and regret eventually hardening to a numb apathy. the difference now is that the inevitable falls along the path hurt. literally, it causes my heart to ache. for years, i had fled in shame or covered myself with darkness, but now - by way of something i can neither describe or define - i am immediately compelled to cry out to Him to pick me up. and I relive the truth of Psalm 40 all over again.

my daughter Chloe will [if you ask her how old she is] proudly proclaim that she is now, "five and three quarters". in the midst of her growing independence she is becoming increasingly prone to break rules we have established to keep her safe, rules like: not jumping on the sofa or playing too rough with Parker. yet, when she falls and hurts herself, her eyes immediately swell up with big crocodile tears just like her mama's and innately, she cries out for her Daddy, whom she affectionately refers to as Dada. oh, I will do if Chris isn't around, but I don't stand a chance if her Daddy's strong arms are there to hold her. Her heart is compelled to seek the loving safety his embrace, the forgiveness of his tender heart.

Yea. God's like that.

for years, i had associated freedom with living for myself. trying and failing to live my life for God certainly never felt like freedom. i was blind, but now i see: freedom is not defined by feet that walk the path perfectly, but by a heart that longs to adhere to it. Only He can transform our hearts and change our desires so that we will innately long for His presence, desire His provision and immediately be drawn back to the refuge in the shadow of His wings.

May 2010, if not this very moment, be when you find true freedom in Him.

"When the Son sets you free, you shall be free indeed." John 8:36

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