so yesterday morning, i woke up at 4:45 a.m. which, in and of itself, required every fiber of strength and discipline in my being. i was on my bike in spin class for a two hour ride by 5:15. i was grocery shopping [with kids in tow] by 8:30. we spent midday at the pool, had afternoon nap time and then spent the evening at vacation bible school. immediately following their bath and bedtime, i collapsed into my bed at 9:45... stuffed miserably full of pizza rolls, nachos and vanilla pudding that i'd washed down with some delicious, generic fruit punch. i then drifted off into a carb/sugar induced coma...
as we grow in both maturity and experience on either narrow path, the obstacles and temptations begin to change in equal proportion. what would've once caused me to fall flat on my face now causes me to stumble slightly. what was once a boulder is now a pebble. the difficulty of the course never changes, but our perspective changes constantly giving way to what becomes our perseverance.
"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning." (Lam 3:22-23) ESV
i've been quiet the last week or so. the Lord constantly reminds me of the verse in Psalms, which says, "Be still and know that I am God". deepening a walk with Him is difficult with a heart that is closed and a mouth that is always open.
open heart. closed mouth. i repeat this to myself like a mantra, each phrase with each step. the desire of my heart is to adhere to His path and abide in Him. having lost my way so many, many, hear me - many - times before, i have pondered and prayed about how i can walk differently. obviously, walking alone has been an unwise choice. left up to my own will, i seem to have an affinity for wandering... and darkness.
when i was choosing the photograph for the header of this blog, this is the one i chose initially:
darker and foggier, the path barely visible. my good friend christian was quick to point this out to me. "but it really does look like my path", i thought to myself. you know, shady. difficult to follow. creepy. no wonder i kept getting lost. "Lord, if only there were a light... " and i was reminded...
"Your word is a lamp unto my feet, a light unto my path." Psalm 119:105
Our pastor, Dr. David Platt, once said that "God's word is the only means by which our minds can be transformed." it is also the means by which the narrow path can be transformed, from dark and desolate to filled with light.