success in weight loss. my success, anyway [and i'm reluctant to even call it that] is not defined by perfection. there is no such thing as victory in the lifelong battle of the bulge. it is not a battle that can be won, but one that must be fought. hard. forever. it doesn't end when you reach a number on the scale or on the tag of your jeans. these are small victories.
this is the first time in my life that i have maintained a weight loss. i'm nearly three years into the oddyssey now. i'm here not because of small battles won. this sucess is not defined by victory. it is defined by time. specifically, by the length of time it takes to get back up after each harrowing round of defeat.
i can remember a time when one fat-laden, carb-loaded meal would send me down for the count... just like that, i'm out of the ring - and into a downward spiral that would invariably affect my next meal, day, week, month, year... until i would - inevitably - find myself right back where i began. defeated.
once i changed my perspective and allowed myself to view these harrowing rounds of defeat as part of the journey, i was able to get back up before the count was over. too often - in the walk of weight loss - and of life - and with Christ - we spend too much time and effort striving for unattainable perfection; giving up and giving in when it seems elusive. intead, what we need is time learning what to do when we fall down, or get knocked down. there are so many - too many - allegorical parallels i could delve into from this point - especially how it's the compartmentalized fat girl in me that i'm proverbially dooking it out with, but i'll digress - so, alas, i went back to my beloved weight watcher family last night, as i do at the end of every summer. they all know to expect me on the tuesday evening after labor day. my life wouldn't be the same without these fellow travelers on my journey.
sometimes, it takes me a day or two. sometimes, a week or two. but i always, always get back up. and maybe. just maybe. this time, i'll keep it off.