i was thinking this morning that i could totally create a silent (i.e. scriptless) short film depicting the stereotypical day of a modern day suburban [part-time] working mother of two preschoolers.
i imagine these snippets playing in sequence and for entirely satirical purposes, i’d have a completely zoned out and expressionless face in every clip of my morning:
4:00 a.m. – bedroom door opens. four year old crawls into bed. i’m too tired to move her, so i spend the next 90 minutes tossing and turning, removing little arms and legs from my ribcage and spine.
5:33 a.m. - alarm goes off and i have exactly two minutes to decide how committed i am to spin class.
6:15 a.m. – i’m in spin class @ the gym, we’re in a ‘standing-climb’ position for what feels like miles, sweat is dripping of my nose and pouring down my arms. (clearly, i’ve made the wrong choice).
7:05 a.m. - i’m at home, standing in the bathroom with a towel wrapped around me, ill as a hornet, impatiently waiting for my turn in the shower.
7:30 a.m. – ironing.
8:00 a.m. – dressing kids
8:20 a.m. - i’m relentlessly trying to remove a spilled drop of syrup from the living room sofa.
8:45 a.m. – i’m in the car with two toddlers [who are riled up and screeching with joy as if we were on the way to Disneyworld].
8:50 a.m. – preschool – all joy having now passed, i’m standing as both of my little boy’s teachers work to free me from his grip, prying little hands from my neck and little legs from my waist.
9:00 a.m. – car – drive to work in total and utter silence.
9:15 a.m. – work – i collapse into my chair-on-wheels and take a moment to stare into space, trying not to think about the fact that i am, just barely, a mere four hours into my day…
11:00 a.m. - i'm walking out of the salon, hair soaking wet and, as soon as i hit the humidity of the outdoors, turning into a frizzy mess bc i was late for my 10:30 hair appt. and there was no time for the blow dry.
11:25 a.m. - my debit cars mysteriously vanishes into thin air at car was hq somewhere between the car and the cash register
11:30 a.m. - driving back to work, on the cell phone, cancelling my debit card and consequently, my only method of retrieving/spending money.
1:11 p.m. - i am standing in my boss' office alone when i realize that i've forgotten something. something that he needed for the meeting that he is in at that very moment.